A Most Unlikely Foreigner
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: I can't just leave her alone, you know? She needs someone to teach her the difference between right and wrong. What does that make me? Good? Evil? Morality is quite an abstract subject. To the little girl standing behind me, I am undoubtedly a hero. Yet, to you, I really am the bad guy, aren't I? Very well. Let the best concept of morality win. Narutoxharem! Vote via review!
1. A Most Unlikely Foreigner

**A/N: Fine, damnit! The Black Faction gets a turn!**

**Only a few more classes left! Saver and Moon Cancer! That's it! Then we're done and we can start for real!**

**Well, there's A Most Unlikely Collection, but that's just for the content that never made it off the cutting room floor or one reason or another.**

**THEN THE MASS UPDATES CAN BEGIN~!**

**But sadly, there is a matter I must bring to your attention.**

**...let it be known that I do NOT enjoy being called a dumb fuck.**

**That's actually worth noting ****considering my self-esteem's worse than Hashirama's...**

**Long story short, when people insult me, I don't write. When I don't write, I don't update. Simple as that. ****Spamming hateful words and reviews that reek of napalm will only make me clamp down all the more, you know. ****If you have a problem tell me in clear concise terms. Don't tell me to go jerk off in a sock or kill myself or hang my dog. If you have a problem with me then by all means, let us talk it out like civilized gentlemen; not fling insults at one another needlessly.**

**Bloody hell.**

**Alter Ego didn't quite get the reception I was hoping for-given that Naruto and Kurama basically fused together-but that's fine. I'm used to getting flak for trying new ideas.**

**So here, have something I'm certain no one has tried before.**

**Now the power rankings change once more!**

**(1) Foreigner!Naruto/Alter Ego!Naruto-Kurama!**

**(2) Saber!Naruto!**

**(3) Ruler!Naruto!**

**(4) Berserker!Naruto!**

**(5) Beast!Naruto! (Weakened)**

**Oh, and speaking of Beast!Naruto! The one who thinks he's a beast but isn't?**

**If you thought what Alter Ego did to him was bad...ohohoho...just wait until you later chapters.**

**Once again, I own no references or established quotes within! Hope you enjoy the ride, now here we go!**

**As ever this will be gone in_ two days_ if you don't like it. Gunner, Launcher, and Gatekeeper already met such a fate. Meaning? The Beast devoured them.**

**I'm trying a different writing style here as an experiment, I do hope you like it...? ****Further clarification, this is HOKAGE Naruto, but he didn't lose his hair, unlike the original.**

_"Ah, yes. Morality is quite an abstract subject. _

_To the little girl standing behind me, I am undoubtedly a hero. _

_Yet, to you, I really am the bad guy. Very well. Let the best concept of morality win."_

_~Foreigner._

**A Most Unlikely Foreigner**

_Special, they called me._

_You're going to do great things, Naruto. You're the child of prophecy. __Touched by a goddess. __Unique. __Prodigy son of Minato and Kushina. __Our Hero. Our Lord. Our Savior. __Praise him. Praise him. __No! Stop that! __Praise is all well and good, but I don't want to be worshiped! I'm no god! Knock it off already, ya louts! Seriously! I'll hit you if I have to!_

_Damn cult!_

_I don't care what they say these days, I don't particularly feel touched. Sure my hair might've gone white since that brawl with Kaguya, and I might be a bit taller now, but that doesn't make me special, does it? I don't need some cult following after me and warping rumors into truth. I'm just a man. So what if have these big-ass horns poking out of my forehead? Does that make me an oni or something? I think not! I'm still me. I'm still Naruto. I just...look a little different. Yes, that's all._

_Oh._

_I get it now._

_Its because of her, isn't it?_

_I touched a god and resisted, thus that makes me special._

_We were supposed to stop her, Sasuke and I. Seal her. Instead, we accidentally destroyed her. At the end, she tried to turn into...something. I still don't know what it was, only that it was large and hideous. Monstrous. It took everything we had to eradicate her before she could finish transforming into that abomination. I remember watching her crumble, seeing her body turn to dust, weeping in the wind. Her last howl was more Beast than that of a woman. When she crumbled we thought she was gone forever._

_Until we found a little girl, c__radled in the wreckage of that giant body._

_A child bearing white hair and pale skin; a terrifying creature with red horns and skin the color of ashen tears._

_The rest of my team-my friends!-wanted to kill her on the spot. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to do it._

_Even after Sasuke and I fought, even after we defeated one another and each lost an arm...I didn't let them destroy her. I couldn't. Something told me it would be wrong. Maybe I should have let them go through with it, but I couldn't. Some might call that illogical. Screw logic, I said. I had to swear up and down that I'd take care of her-take responsibility for her actions-before they even let her into the village. I didn't expect a bloody cult to spring up three months later and start worshiping her-us!-like we were demigods or something!_

_Now what do I do?_

_I don't know._

_She's taken to following me about like a shadow, a lost little puppy without a master. She doesn't look at anyone else. Doesn't talk to anyone else. A little girl with the appearance of a ten-year-old, one who could barely toddle after me at first without stumbling like a newborn. Now she won't let go of my hand. Gods this is awkward. At least I convinced her to wear clothes. If I hadn't, things would've been...bad. But did it have to be an orange sundress? You're getting weird looks, oi!_

_ I want to believe she's an innocent. _

_Maybe this wee sprite of a girl isn't really Kaguya, isn't that monster we defeated. If so, she's only a child now. I promised that I would take her of her. I never go back on my word. I keep telling myself that there's naught to worry about really; in this state she's no threat to anyone save herself-_

_Urk._

_She just called me Daddy._

_Oh, gods. I wasn't ready for that. __I can feel everyone staring at me. __No! Wait! This is a misunderstanding! I swear! I didn't tell her to call me that, really! That did it. My reputation is officially ruined. I'm not cut out to be a single parent. Maybe I could find somehow to help me? Put out an advertisement, you know? "Single parent looking for potential partner to raise an unruly god-child" No? Too subtle? __Aw, hell. I've got a bad feeling about this, but I can't just leave her alone, ya know? __I feel...like she needs someone._

_ Someone to show her the difference between right and wrong._

_Some people will curse me for this. Say I'm the bad guy for taking her in._

_But am I? I'm just doing what I feel is right. I can't bear to leave her behind like this._

_I'm gonna go down in history for raising her, I just know it. She's gonna get all kinds of bad habits._

_What? Why are you looking at me like that? What did I say? Hey! Don't look at me like that! I'm not a freaking lolicon!_

* * *

_(...0o0o0...)_

* * *

_What was she thinking?_

What had possessed her to conduct her summoning alone? Suspicion? Regret? Jealousy?

...guilt?

Fiore Forvedge Yggdmillennia knew she shouldn't be conducting her summoning alone-not when everyone else planned a single summoning later that night-but here she was in the throne room regardless. It felt like she was betraying her brother, but something spurred her on in spite of her own silent fear. Grandfather had already summoned his Servant long ago-and what a monster that one was-in this very room some weeks before; perhaps the location would grant her luck, given that she'd mysteriously misplaced her catalyst for the ritual.

Her catalyst was mean to be broken remnants of what might've been an arrow, once.

Or a horn.

She'd had the ritual words drilled into her years ago, she'd known what she was preparing for.

They flowed from her as natural as breathing, spilling out into the world alongside the blood from her opened palm.

"If you heed my sincerity, answer!" the last of the chant wrapped around the summoning circle at her non-responsive feet and the world blazed blue.

Despite her success, the young master did not feel a tug on her circuits; nor experience any strain on her veins. The homunculus system was in place to prevent any such strain on the Master's part. In this moment she almost thought it was a shame. Without it she initially couldn't discern who or what she had summoned, nor how strong they were. In the end she was forced to wait for the smoke to clear, to watch it waft away against the high ceiling. In time, it cleared enough for her to make sense of what-who!-she was looking at.

"Well, well, well!" a young man's resonant voice boomed off the walls and into the arcane haze. "Looks like we got lucky this time around eh, kiddo?"

"Mmm. Very lucky." A girl's voice answered, and it didn't belong to Fiore. "Who is she?"

"Likely our new Master." came the sardonic reply.

"She's...small." was her instant retort.

"So are you." he snickered.

"How rude!"

**_What._**

As the smoke continued to wane, two separate pairs of eyes gazed placidly back at Fiore, one blue as the deepest ocean, the other pale as driven snow. Two of them. A duo. Plural. A pair, rather. As in more than one and _whatinthebluehellwasgoinonhere?!_ Fear seized her faltering heart in a vicious vice and she shrank back in her wheelchair, suddenly terrified for her safety._ Stupid, stupid, stupid! Stupid girl!_ Had she bungled the summon somehow? Was this an enemy Servant of Red, come to take her life? She hadn't brought her bronze link manipulator; if they took it into their head to attack, she wouldn't be able to defend herself in time. Still, her mind gibbered madly.

Two of them?

That shouldn't be possible.

And yet her vision didn't waver.

"Don't be so tense," the young man uttered a jaw-popping yawn and palmed his mouth. "We're on your side, you know. You summoned us, didn't you?"

The girl's head bobbed in mild agreement.

"Summoned us." she parroted him with a small smile.

"Hey, talk normally, you know." her companion admonished sternly.

With that Fiore's gaze snapped toward the larger of the unlikely duo, watching like a skittish mouse as he removed what might've been a hat of some sort to reveal whiskered cheeks, blue eyes, and blond hair gone almost pure silver, through stress or other means she knew not. Twin horns the color of scarlet skies jutted from the center of his forehead, poking around the curved plate of a well kept headband bearing the sigil of a leaf. As to his attire...beneath a white cloak bearing red flames, she glimpsed a long orange-sleeved shirt and a pair of dark pants with matching sandals. He looked almost...fatherly by comparison.

"Who are you?"

"Me?" the larger of the two blinked before an easy smile bloomed on his whiskered cheeks. "That's an easy one. Uzumaki Naruto, at your service!"

"No. Not allowed." A pale finger poked his cheek insistently, muffling the last word. "Not fair. My turn."

"Oh, right, right." Naruto's head bobbed. "The runt's called Kaguya. Say hello, Kaguya."

She waved cheerily.

_"Hello~!"_

Fiore reluctantly risked a glance at her, this companion who couldn't have been more unusual if she tried. Whereas "Naruto" was a healthy young man with admittedly odd horns and a grin to match, his ally was anything but. Where he was large, she was short. While he was loud, she had seemed soft-spoken and almost painfully...shy.

Until now.

Now she was _looking_ at her, and Fiore wasn't sure she liked that look.

Clad in little more than an orange sundress with a pair of long dark breeches to preserve her modesty, she couldn't have stood more than four feet tall. All in all she was a small sprite of a girl with pale skin and ashen hair, she nevertheless laid claim to him in an almost childish way; taking up residence on his back, draping herself atop his shoulders and head in a crude parody of a daughter riding on her father's back. She too possessed a pair of horns, though unlike his own, hers jutted further toward the middle of her head.

Those horns almost seemed to glow in the faint light as the unnamed girl gazed down at her.

Beneath their shared gaze, she dared to ask the question that had been nagging at her for the last five minutes.

"Are you...Archer?"

Merry blue eyes twinkled back at her.

"Nope. We're Foreigner."

"We?" Fiore squeaked out. "So there really are two of you."

Kaguya tilted her head. "You're not very bright, are you, Master?"

Quick as a flash Naruto reached over his shoulder and flicked Kaguya in the forehead for her cruel remark. Fiore started a bit in her chair, otherwise steadied herself at the sudden-if parental-display of aggression from the duo claiming to be her Servant. Sure enough, a pained yelp greeted him as she swayed on his back. "OW! That hurt, daddy!"

"What have I told you about being rude?" he admonished.

Her face turned inward in a childish pout.

...no to be?"

_"_Good girl." he grunted. "Now apologize."

"How?" the pale girl sulked.

Those keen blue eyes turned back to Fiore, as though regarding her for the first time. They noticed her legs. Narrowed. Even as silent shame flooded her cheeks, that stern gaze didn't waver. Foreigner seemed to consider for a moment longer, then his gaze snapped back to his other half. No words were exchanged between the two of them, but judging by the way the latter's brow furrowed, an accord was struck regardless.

"Really?" Kaguya whined. "Do I _have_ to, papa? We were only just summoned. I'm still tired...

"You hurt her feelings, so yes." he flicked her forehead again. "Do it. Now."

"Fine, you're such a softie, papa...

Fiore jolted.

_"No, really, its fine-_

Before the magus could think to protest further, Kaguya moved.

In a single bound she hopped off his shoulder and slid to her side. There was something unnatural about the movement; she didn't so much as walk as she did glide. Every movement was measured and calculated, grace personified, exactly the sort of thing you wouldn't expect from a little girl. But this wasn't a little girl, was she? She was a Heroic Spirit-or at least part of one according to Naruto's claim-yet the eerie serene smile she saw lurking on that pallid face was almost horrifying to behold. As if she were but a shadow, a fragment of something that had once been...more.

"Try not to move." the words wrapped around her body like a noose and the young master found herself helpless but to obey. "This might be...painful."

A pale, perfect hand descended upon her right knee and grasped it gently.

Moments later, the left quietly took up residence on the other.

And suddenly, Fiore found she could_ feel her legs._

Her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

_"What...what have you...?"_

Pain snarled up her spine, but only for a moment; because in the next she was too overwhelmed to experience anything else. Her toes twitched. Her legs felt numb, as though they were only just now waking from a long and terrible sleep, bringing a thousand pins and needless with it. Fiore didn't care; because she could feel it. Everything. She could still feel her magic circuits humming happily, awake and active within her legs as if they had never hurt her at all, but moreover she could feel them. Move them. This was the greatest gift she could've been given. Greater even than the Grail itself.

"There." Kaguya sniffed imperiously as she vaulted onto Naruto's shoulder. "Now I'll be useless for the rest of the day. I hope you're happy, Papa."

Naruto hummed contentedly

"Quite happy." he patted her little head, drawing a pleased purr from his other self. "Now, then...

Even as Fiore struggled to grasp this sudden-and blessed!-change of pace, the other half of Foreigner approached her and bent the knee with quiet regal grace. A long hand rose, palm up, fingers splayed. There was no lust in his smile, only a warm empathy that she knew all too well, one that rather reminded her of her brother. He made no move to touch her, nor to grab her hand, anything at all. Instead he patiently waited for her to come to terms with all that she'd been given; allowing her to reach out of her own accord.

"May I?" his voice sent a quite shiver shooting down her spine.

Slowly, reluctantly, Fiore's fingers curled around his.

And she stood.

When her Servant pulled her to her feet, the young Master nearly tumbled to the floor. Her legs wobbled weakly, muscles atrophied from years of disuse and only his firm grip on her hand prevented her from falling on the spot. Yet as he held her, as she clung to him for dear life, something changed. A healing pulse fled from his hand and pooled in the aching muscles of her legs. It was not an immediate cure for her malady; it did not grant her the strength to walk on the spot...but it did speed the process somewhat. Enough for her to stand, if only for a moment.

Tears sprang to her eyes and this time, she couldn't fight them.

Years of pent up emotions came rushing out at once and she was swept up in their flood.

They came without word or warning; one moment she was gaping up at the kindly soul who'd given her legs back; the next she was blubbering into his chest like a little girl. A small part of her felt him stiffen awkwardly at this sudden and unexpected contact, but he made no move to tear himself away-likely because he was still holding her up. Kaguya muttered something and looked away, but she unbent enough to pat her head despite her earlier animosity. Fiore only cried harder.

"Oh, jeeze!" Foreigner sputtered and began to squirm helplessly. "Look, I know you're emotional and all but I don't have any experience with this sort of thing!"

"I don't understand." She stammered out. "Why go to all this length for me, then? What did I do to deserve such kindness?"

Foreigner merely beamed back at her._ "Its what I do, you know?"_

That was the moment Fiore's world changed forever, though she knew it not.

It would be a glorious war that followed, one she would happily walk into for her Servant's sake.

After all, Fiore had just been given her dearest, most treasured wish. How else could she possibly repay him?

_You see, in that moment the poor girl had no hope of turning back; because she'd fallen hopelessly, utterly, irrevocably in love with her Servant._

**A/N: Aw, little Kaguya's a good girl~!**

**Aaaaaaaand Fiore's fallen in love.**

**Feels good to have a more light-hearted take on things here...with its own darker moments coming up. ****Consider this Naruto a rogue Servant, one who wanders rather than fights.**

**But when he DOES fight...oh, boy.**

**And he's a proud-if unwilling-papa of a little Kaguya.**

**She's so deeply intertwined into his legend that he can only ever be summoned with her...much to his chagrin. Now don't give me that look! Its been done before! Bonny and Read, as well as Artemis and Orion. ****Poor Naruto. Everyone sees Foreigner as a lolicon. I couldn't help myself, that absolutely made me and my team howl with laughter. Putting him in the Black Faction makes it even more of a mess. He'll flat out say what manner of woman he prefers, but through unfortunate misunderstandings and such he just can't seem to win.**

**OPEN SPOTS ARE OPEN VOTES! REVIEW AWAY ME HEARTIES!**

**Well, Berserker of Red is settled already, as you'll see.**

**So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

**...Review, Would You Kindly?**

**And enjoy the previews!**

**Some are serious.**

**Some are silly!**

**(Preview)**

_"Ha? My wish? I guess..._

_His smile broke her heart into a thousand pieces._

_"I'd like a family. Not just for me, but for the kid too, ya know?"_

* * *

_...goodbye, old friend."_

* * *

_"DESTROY!"  
_

* * *

_"Long time no see, Master~!"_

* * *

_"Get up!" she shook him fiercely, desperately as the enemy approached. "You have to get up!"_

_...give up, child. That fool will never rise again. I've done you a favor."_

_"Quiet! Shut up! I hate you!"_

_...that is your right."_

_And he struck._

* * *

_"He just hit you!" little Kaguya hissed in his ear. "What are you going to do about that?!"_

_Naruto roared._

_"HIT HIM HARDER!"_

_And the world absolutely erupted._

* * *

_"Bad girl! None of that! No Cthulhu powers up in here!"_

_His fellow Foreigner hissed. "What are you-ow!"_

_His hand descended ruthlessly._

_"NARUTO CHOP!"_

* * *

_...I'm dissapointed in you, Foreigner."_

_"Its not like that~!" the blond wailed helplessly._

* * *

_"What the hell are you supposed to be? I can't get a read on you."_

_Berserker growled, low and deep in his throat._

_"My name...is Arjuna. Prepare to die."_

_"Oh balls-_

**R&R~!**


	2. A Most Unlikely Gathering

**A/N: *****EDIT***

**I guess people don't like this story or the twist I included. I'm getting shredded for it.**

**Well...I tried.**

**I thought we were past this. I thought I could finally write again without being torn to shreds. Apparently not. I don't know what else to say at this point. I just pushed out a crazy amount of updates, going so far as to update every single day. ****I AM writing other stuff besides Fate. There. I've said it. Now stop telling me to die, and for the love of god, stop with the death threats.**

**Also, HALP Undertale has my by the throat and won't let me gooooo~!**

**I just discovered it, needless to say and wow.**

**So many options, so may endings.**

***head spins***

**...**

**...**

**Now, I'm not begging for reviews here. I'm grateful for every kind word and criticism I get. I genuinely enjoy talking to people. But its when folks curse and threaten me that I begin to lose my temper. ****Anyway, I'm off to work another double. Looking forward to your reviews when I get back. ****Here. Another update. Out of spite for the trolls. Enjoy it. Have at ye.**

**Anyway, I'm off to work another double. Looking forward to chatting with you all when I get back.**

**Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive.**

**As ever, this'll be gone in _two days_ if folks don't like it.**

**References are glorious and I own nothing~!**

_"Have we...met?"_

_"Pretty sure I'd remember you."_

_"No, I swear I've seen you somewhere..._

_~Lancer and Foreigner._

**A Most Unlikely Gathering**

_Fiore's world was spinning._

Everywhere she went, looked, walked, she drew incredulous looks. She couldn't blame them. Even the normally stoic homonculus staffing the castle sometimes gave her an alarmed look when she passed them in the halls with her merry new gait. To be fair, Fiore tried her utmost not to let them bother her; she really, truly did. It likely had something to do with Foreigner she told herself, not the fact that she was walking. She shouldn't let it get to her, really. Alas, this was easier said than done when she was currently latched onto the arm of said aberration for dear life. Fresh as her new legs were, she didn't wholly trust them to support her weight.

Never mind that!

Because she could walk!

Sprint! Spring! Skip! Sing!

Well, perhaps, not the last one. She was terribly self-conscious when it came to that. But still!

Walk!

Legs!

Her!

Not necessarily in that order!

Her mind ran back and forth like a hamster on crack, refusing any and all attempts to be reigned in. She could barely think, such was her glee. Not only had she successfully summoned a Servant, but said Servant had restored her legs and left the magic circuits there intact! With each passing step she felt herself grow stronger; not enough to walk on her own, not yet, but soon. By this time tomorrow she may well be able to even run and the thought a small, happy giggle from her.

"You, ah...alright there, kiddo?"

A nudge against her shoulder drew Fiore back to the present and she jumped. Her mind seized on the action with a singular ferocity.

Aha!

Another thing she could do now that she hadn't been able to before!

Point for her! She was unstoppable today!

_Fear my mighty legs! Mwahahaha!_

"She's spacing out again."

Kaguya's voice cracked like a whip against her rant, doing what Naruto couldn't.

With an effort, Fiore loosened her grasp enough to look at her. "Oh, I'm sorry! Did you say something?"

The unlikely pair exchanged a look and at the end of it, Kaguya arched a demure brow. "You're certainly happy."

...I suppose I am, yes." oh gods, she could feel the heat in her face.

"And why shouldn't our Master be?" Naruto interjected, swatting her back playfully. "She's had that handicap all her life. I'd say she's glad to be rid of it. Its like that time you learned to fly, or when I first mastered water-walking. You never forget your first steps. Right, Fiore? I imagine you want to spring right about now."

Fiore fought down at the smile he granted her; That was all it took for her momentarily addled mind to sprint-and didn't that just make her giggle-off into the sunset again.

_No! Bad girl! No naughty thoughts about your Servant! _

Even if he was kind and warm and gentle and oh-god you could probably grind meat on-GAH! Shaking her head in a desperate attempt to clear her thoughts-and the adrenaline-coursing through her body, the restored magus reluctantly marshaled herself. Happiness was all well and good, but she needed to _focus _lest she forget herself entirely.

It was at that very moment that she bumped into her brother.

Literally.

Having sensed the sudden surge of prana that came with Foreigner's arrival-and mistaking it for an attack-Caules had already been racing around the corner full tilt with no thought in mind save his sibling's safety. Fiore, on the other hand, had been too lost in her thoughts and was much to preoccupied to react in time. She had only just tugged Naruto forward and began rounding said corner herself with disaster struck.

The result was nothing short of spectacular.

BONK!

Brother and sister collided head on at full speed with a dual yelp; foreheads jarring painfully against one another. If not for Naruto, Fiore would've tumbled to the floor. As things stood she crashed into her Servant's chest with a startled squeak. As for Caules...well, her dear sibling bounced _off _Naruto and crashed into a wall. Thankfully he righted himself in short order and turned to face

"Sorry about that," he began awkwardly, "I thought something...happened...

Words failed him eyes bulged behind his glasses as he saw her legs, saw her _standing _and instantly made the connection. She could've sworn she saw his brain physically reboot itself. He swayed on his feet for all of half-of-a-second before sense reasserted itself. Then he lunged forward and seized her in a crushing embrace.

"You...You're walking! Its a miracle!"

A pleased, if rosy flush warmed the brunette's cheeks as she basked in his praise.

Not so much his arms constricting around her ribs! Not at all! "B-Brother! You're crushing me!"

He jerked backwards Kaguya preened proudly.

"Yes, yes, you may both bow at your leisure peasants-OW!" Said preening hung itself in a hiss as Naruto chopped her head. "I was _joking_, you brute!"

Only then did Caules seem to register that they weren't alone at all.

"Wait, who are these two...?"

Pride surged through Fiore's chest. "This is my Servant." then, almost as an afterthought, "They were the ones to restore my legs."

Caules spun around with such force that he nearly gave himself whiplash.

For his part, Naruto sketched a low bow. "Pleased to meetcha."

"There's two of them." her brother deadpanned.

She planted a hand over her mouth.

Kaguya swung down from Naruto's shoulders. "Figure that out yourself, did you?"

Incredulous, he rounded on her, pointing. Why was he always_ pointing?_ "That one's a child!"

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock." those white eyes turned stormy. "Truly your wit knows no bounds."

"I'm sorry," Caules sputtered incoherently. "Its just...you're so small. I didn't mean any offense just now."

"I'm sorry, did you just called me... short?" The demigoddess absolutely hissed. "Wanna keep digging that hole-LEMME GO!"

"You _really _don't wanna press that button." Naruto sighed as he plucked the struggling girl off the ground. "She'll go absolutely berserk, trust me."

Thankfully the better half of Foreigner had gathered himself up and interjected himself between the two of them before they could come to blows. Not that Naruto looked angry by any means or measure mind you; but little Kaguya looked about ready to take a swipe at him. Feisty little thing that she was, she'd probably do it, too. Reborn or not, she seemed to have a sensitive ego; exactly the sort to take a swing at someone-anyone!-who dared insult her height.

Thankfully, it never came to that.

"I understand your impatience my dear, but you should have waited." a fresh voice interjected, "We were going to summon the others shortly."

Only then did she see Darnic-Grandfather!-striding down the hall to meet them. His Servant was only a few paces behind, moving at a more languid gait. A tiny part of herself quailed at the thought of displeasing him, but she stubbornly held herself in check. Perhaps that was why Naruto all but ceased smiling and stood that much straighter as Kaguya clamored back onto his back. It wasn't...killing intent, but he didn't seem at all happy to meet the man, either. Drawing himself up, he didn't flinch as the head of their family stopped before them.

"There was no need for haste," he addressed Fiore with marked disapproval, "We thought you were under attack."

Shame nearly caused Fiore to avert her gaze, but she held herself in check with her own iron will. Grandfather didn't seem to care that she was walking; that she'd once more been made whole. Then again, Darnic seldom cared for anything beyond the Grail these days. He only took a passing interest in Naruto-an interest that piqued when he noticed Kaguya's petite form settled on his shoulder.

"This is your Servant, then?" when she nodded, he even dared to step closer. "He healed you, I assume? What is his class?"

"Foreigner." Naruto spoke before Kaguya's rising temper landed them in further trouble. "Nice to meet you."

"Well!" Darnic's Servant scoffed aloud. "He has manners at least. Despite his appearance."

"Careful, now." Kaguya's voice was velvety soft. "Watch your words. Both of you."

Darnic withdrew as if he'd been stung, his Servant, even more so. Fiore ruthlessly bit her lip. Indeed, the Servant looked positively gobsmacked for the first time since they'd been summoned. It was worth it, she decided, if only to see the supremely smug Servant taken down half a peg or two. Caules gave her hand a quick squeeze and muttered something about "preparing" before he slunk off. Fiore let him go without so much as a second thought; nor did she blame him for escaping. She _had _a Servant and she still didn't want to be in the middle of this.

"I did not intend to disparage you of course," Darnic put in warily. "Nor did my goddess."

_What did he just...?_

Naruto offered a frown.

...I'll take your word for it."

Only then did he face said Servant.

"Naruto." the blond began brusquely by way of introduction.

"Ereshkigal," came the newcomer's immediate retort. "You seem familiar. Have we.._.met?"_

"Pretty sure we'd remember someone like you." Kaguya put in primly. "I've never seen you before in my life."

"No, I mean your companion." Lancer snapped back waspishly. "The blond one." her eyes softened. "By the spirits, I swear I've seen you somewhere...

There was a strange if chilly hospitality between the two of them, as though they couldn't quite decide how to act. For a tense moment, neither moved. Almost as if they were sizing the other up. Neither moved. Neither so much as blinked. They didn't even seem to breathe for what felt like the longest time. One of them tensed, and Fiore readied a Command Spell lest they come to blows.

And then, quite suddenly, the dynamic between the two Servants...changed.

In one smooth movement, Naruto took Lancer's hand, brought it to his lips, and kissed it; causing those pale cheeks to burn bright. Something dawned in those red orbs-recognition? Realization-but she quickly smothered it before anyone could think to ask what she'd experienced. Fiore had her own suspicions, but she didn't give voice to them. No. She dare not. Were the two of them playing a game? Were they trying to one-up the other? Someone like Lancer might, but Naruto? Would her Foreigner truly do that? Oh gods she was calling hers already...she was doomed, wasn't she?

"Well!" Lancer tossed her head, freeing herself from her crimson hood. "Aren't you the dashing one!"

In that moment, Fiore finally got a good glimpse of her beneath the hood she liked to wear.

Hair like pale gold framed a fair face from which eyes of regal ruby shone. Clad in a red mantle with a dark crown and matching attire that clung sinfully to her every curve, she radiated sexuality on an almost primal level; indeed, her very presence stimulated the senses. She was, in all things, a resplendent beauty, a being beyond compare, and Fiore somehow felt lesser in her presence. This was a goddess-albeit one possessing a human host-not just by her own admission but by those of others as well. How could she hope to compare to this...?

Then a hand settled on her shoulder and the weight lifted from her chest; one she hadn't been aware of until this very moment, and the spell was broken.

"That wasn't very nice, Lancer." Naruto addressed the gloomy goddess with a glower. "You didn't have to do that to her, you know."

Her full lips quirked in a small smile. "I was merely testing her mettle, Foreigner. Forgive me. I meant no offense."

A muscle jumped in his jaw, but he didn't challenge her further. "I'm not the one to ask."

Fiore dared to raise her gaze and Eresh grimaced.

She didn't want to threaten anyone, but as a magus she had her pride; and that pride certainly didn't enjoy being trampled upon just now. She didn't have to take this. Servant or no. She had dignity. She had standards and she wasn't about to yield the one _she _was interested in, least of all to this blond...little...!

"Tramp."

Everyone startled.

"What did you just say?!"

The word escaped her before she could think to hold it back; even as her hands flew to her mouth she knew it was too late to take the words back. Ereshkigal's dismaying yelp was only overshadowed by Naruto's open guffaw. Kaguya nearly toppled from his shoulders altogether, hanging on for dear life as the whiskered warrior all but doubled aver and outright cackled. Fiore felt a little bit like laughing herself and she would have...if she weren't absolutely mortified with himself.

"Ha! I knew there was a reason I liked you! You've got spine! Moxy! This is going to be great!"

"As you say." Darnic's smile was only slightly strained. "Shall we begin, then?"

Naruto hummed. Kaguya positively purred.

"Yes," she declared._ "Lets."_

* * *

(...0o0o0...)

* * *

The summoning chamber was awash with light.

Fiore looked on, rapt with attention as the ritual unfolded.

She wondered if the catalysts would work. They should...shouldn't they?

Quietly, she clasped her hands together. No surprise. Please, gods, no more surprises.

Distantly, she was of Eresh reclining upon her throne, and Darnic lurking by her side as the chant began to build. Why did the sight of them make her stomach turn? Lancer didn't _appear _to be inherently evil, or cruel for that matter, but she certainly lacked restraint. She'd backed down all too quickly when Naruto put the screws to her in any case. Perhaps she simply didn't understand people. Yes, that might make sense. She sensed an overt friendliness from Lancer, but it was blunted by her own awkward behavior.

And if she was looking her way now, what of it? Let her simmer in her guilt.

_"Lets raise a wall against the wind that shall fall."_

So she pushed that thought out of her head and paid the pair little mind, choosing instead to focus on the ritual before her. Her own had been crude by comparison, but now she had the unrivaled chance to witness it from without rather than within. Her circuits simmered comfortably as she watched, leaning on a wall for support. It would have to do.

_"Let the four cardinal gates close."_

Naruto had been by her side a moment ago, but their Caster had taken one look at him and all but blitzed him like a long-lost friend. Foreigner had been dragged away in short order. At this angle she couldn't see him, but she _could _see the others, could hear their chant, even now swelling in her ears.

_"From the crown, let the three-forked road that leads to the kingdom rotate."_

Celenike, Gordes, and of course Caules, as well as someone she didn't recognize.

_"An oath shall be sworn here."_

That one...bothered her. They had the look of a homonculus but their face was a mystery to her. Just who was this newcomer? A boy? A girl? She could only glimpse ashen hair, their face obscured by her own position and the angle at which they stood. Fiore supposed it didn't matter. As a fellow Master suspected she'd be meeting them soon enough.

_"I shall attain all virtues of heaven."_

Each stood before that summoning circles, each chanted in perfect unison, each straightened their backs and thrust their right arm forward with singular purpose.

_"I shall have dominion over all evils of Hell!"_

Silently, Firoe counted off the remaining seconds.

Hopefully, she prayed for the classes, and for their success.

Berserker.

Assassin.

Archer.

Saber.

Rider.

No. Wait. She had meant to summon Archer. Instead she'd wound up with a Foreigner. Did that mean that the marksman class had simply been replaced in this war? Or would they somehow be granted an eighth Servant after all? Her head spun as the light continued to built. That didn't make any sense. There could only ever be seven Servants. The idea of more was...concerning. Loopholes could be exploited, both by their faction as well as those of the Red. If either found such a loop...

As if realizing that very thought, Kaguya made her way over to her.

"Have you prepared yourself, Master?" those solemn white eyes gazed up at her.

Prepared for what? Something in the way she'd said that words sounded ominous, but she never had a chance to ask.

Because it was then that _they_ arrived.

A pulse of pale light filled the room, a cadence of voices breaking upon the immovable object that was the ritual. Even at this distance she couldn't bear to look at it overlong, lest she be blinded. When the light cleared, a familiar pressure registered against her shoulder, and she realized that Naruto had returned to her side. He stood at her right, and Kaguya her left. Almost as if they were...guarding her. Protecting. Actively shielding her from anyone who might dare do her harm.

She soon saw why.

"In accordance to the summons, we present ourselves." Kneeling in the center of the room, four freshly-summoned Servants spoke as one, their voices near in unison. "We are the Servants of Black. Our fates shall be with Yggdmillenia. And our swords shall be as your swords."

The first to catch her eye was an absolute mountain of a girl hefting a giant ax. She loomed over them all in nothing but a jacket and trousers. That had to be Berserker.

The next, a swordsman clad in white-and-black, bearing a singular red sleeve and sharp eyes. His gaze was a blade itself. Saber, if she ever saw one.

The third was notable for her scandalous outfight and vibrant pink hair and a cheery grin that looked a touch...hungry. Rider, she presumed.

Perhaps more frightful was that wee slip of a girl with pale hair, clad in a purple slip? Assassin? She might well be.

"Behold, my goddess!" Darnic cried! "They are the Servants summoned by our Masters! They are the Servants who shall serve under you."

Ereshkigal offered no words of comfort, no grand, stirring speech. She simply smiled. Rather than reply, she turned her gaze to Naruto. Those dark red eyes settled on him for a long, pressing moment, as though making a decision of sorts. Fiore couldn't fathom why. It didn't make a lick of sense. By rights, the summoning had gone without a hitch. Flawlessly, even. There was nothing to judge, no one to condemn, and certainly no one to try and fling a nasty comment at. So why, why, _why _was she staring at _her_ Servant as if he were a hunk of meat to be devoured?!

"Oh, she's laying it on_ thick."_ one of the Servants-Rider?-whistled below the dais, heedless of their confusion.

"What say you, Naruto?" Eresh purred. "Do these Servants meet your standards?"

And yet Foreigner's reaction startled everyone all the same.

Naruto burst out into a peal of delighted laughter.

Kaguya joined him not a heartbeat later.

_"They'll Do! Let The War Begin!"_

**A/N: 0_0**

**What have I unleashed?!**

**It is HEAVILY implied that Ereshkigal recognizes Naruto. But from where?**

**Ohohoho, but that would be telling now, wouldn't it? Therein lie half the fun, of course.**

**I'll say it right now, no Beast in this story! There, lets put that to bed and move onto more important matters.**

**Darnic is a slippery, slimy, swindler. It stands to reason that he'd try to ingratiate himself with whomever he summoned, I believe.**

**I regret nothing concerning Fiore; you'd be giddy too if you couldn't walk all your life. She's a treat to write, and so were the Servants. ****And now the roster comes together, if only a bit. ****I want to shift things up you know? Can't keep the same roster for every war, that'd get dull fast.**** Votes were tallied, so here we are thus far! **

**As another note, they may well still get an Archer. Who knows?**

**Saber of Black = Muramasa. His Master is Gordes.**

**Foreigner of Black = Naruto & Kaugya. Their Master is Fiore.**

**Caster of Black = Leonardo Da Vinci. Her Master is Roche.**

**Lancer of Black = Ereshkigal. Her master is Darnic.**

**Berserker of Black = Paul Bunyan. Her Master is Caules.**

**Assassin of Black = Kama. Her Master is...?**

**Rider of Black = Medb. Her Master is Celenike.**

**I ain't saying jack about the Red Faction yet, so keep those reviews/votes 'a coming!**

**OPEN SPOTS ARE OPEN VOTES! REVIEW AWAY ME HEARTIES!**

**Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive.**

**As ever, this will be gone in _two days_ if folks don't like it.**

**So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

**...Review, Would You Kindly?**

**And enjoy the previews!**

**SURPRISE SURPRISE!**

**(Preview)**

_Medb was smiling again. __"Well, hello handsome."_

_"NOPE."_

* * *

_Da Vinci preened._

_"Of course! I am a genius after all! It only makes sense that I'd remember you!"_

* * *

_"You?!"_

_"Oh what the hell?!"_

_He was looking at himself. __And for once...it wasn't a Beast._

_They looked just as surprised to see him. __"Which faction are you with?"_

_Naruto almost considered lying but thought better of it, for it gained him nothing. "Black."_

_His lookalike frowned and reached for their own weapon, blue eyes gleaming. __"Well, THAT is going to be a problem..._

***EDIT* EDIT* On another note, this Red!Naruto is going to be a surprising class. He's a new one, and NOT from another story. Be prepared.**

* * *

_She kissed him fiercely._

* * *

_A hand wrapped around their skull._

_"Oi, oi, oi! Who said you could touch my kid?!"_

* * *

_"Lets see you survive this one!"_

_Fiore had half an instant to realize her peril before Kaguya yanked her behind them. __The enemy Servant, had even less time to prepare for the attack. __Golden hands rose, mirrored by pale palms. Light gathered together in their fingers, swelling to meet the onrushing swell of light. Those gentle red eyes were purely white, wide and pulsing with apocalyptic fury. Something gathered there in the air, a blinding brilliance too bright to look at, as if he'd pulled all the stars down into their hands. __Then they roared._

_"BIJU!-_

_Let there be light._

_**-DAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"**_

* * *

_...lolicon."_

_"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"_

***EDIT* EDIT* EDIT*Once again, the Red!Naruto is a surprising class. He's a new one. Be prepared.**

**R&R~!**


	3. A Most Unlikely Surprise

**A/N: Hey, there.**

**This chapter...is a lot shorter than I'd like it to be, but with the crippling pain I'm in, its the best I can do at the moment. ****What is dead may never die, or so some people say. And I ain't dead yet. I may feel like it at times, and I can't walk or run quite as fast as I'm used to, but I've still got plenty of life left in these old bones of mine. ****Me and the gang are busy making the rounds with updates across the board, as I'm sure you've all seen. We've been busy.**

**Anyway, I'm off to work another double. Looking forward to reviews and chatting with you all when I get back.**

**Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive.**

**References are glorious and I own nothing~!**

_"Me? I'm just a Servant. One of many. The question you need to ask yourself is this:_

_What happens when a bunch of us band together and focus on a single target? Go ahead. Humor me."_

_~?_

**A Most Unlikely Surprise (Interlude)**

The shadow struck at midnight.

While the rest of the castle slumbered in peace, it stole through the halls with grim purpose and resolve. Silent were its footsteps, invisible was its presence. Anyone unfortunate enough to encounter it didn't live to tell the tale. They were slain on the spot; guard and homonculus alike dispatched with callous ease, taken out before they could hope to sound the alarm. The lucky ones never saw him coming and died in silence. The unlucky did not. They perished choking on their own blood. Bad way to go, that.

He wasn't happy about it, but orders were orders, and he couldn't resist a Command Spell.

No witnesses. No survivors. None were to be spared. Kill as many Masters as you can, then get out.

Clad in a dark leathers and a crimson cowl, the Servant's face lay hidden behind a ghastly orange mask. None saw his scowl as he stalked through the corridors, none heard him mutter unceasingly as he slew anyone fool enough to cross his path.

"Now, lets see here." the Servant hummed softly to themselves as he reached a crossroads. "Eenie, meenie, minie mo." his finger swung back and forth between the locked doors like a drunken pendulum. "Catch a tiger by the toe." it moved left, right, then left again. "If he hollers, let him go, eenie, meenie, minie...mo."

A gloved finger settled on the southernmost door.

"Bingo~!" Tittering softly, the stranger crept forward and went to work.

Breaking the lock proved a simple matter and far more silent than shattering it apart. That would create noise. His mission here was to be silent, to show no mercy, and above all, _escape. _Complete his task, wipe out the enemy Masters in their sleep, and then away into the night_. _If a Servant discovered him, he'd be swarmed in less than thirty seconds. He didn't much fancy his odds seven-to-one. He was too squishy for that.

The lock clicked softly and he pushed through to the room behind.

A knife flashed out in his hands, found the throat of a sleeping Master, and came away red. Done. From there he bulled his way into the hall and chose another door. Now it was a race against time. A Servant didn't simply fade when you cut their mana; they had a handful of seconds before being called back to the throne. Time in which to find another master or launch a final suicidal strike.

He had no intention of being around for that.

The next lock came undone in his grasp and he gripped the handle, easing it open.

A darkened room awaited him within, filled with all manner of odd tools and gear. He paid it no mind. Instead, he crept toward the lone bed in the corner, and the young woman resting within. She was a pretty little thing, with a round face and wavy brown hair. Her eyelids twitched in sleep, unseeing of the knife in his hand. Poor girl. She didn't deserve to die like this. But he didn't have a choice. In another life he would've happily faced her in and her Servant in a fair fight.

Fiore slumbered, wholly unaware of her impending death.

"Nothing personal, kid." the Servant murmured. "I'll make it quick."

Bright eyes flashed behind the cowl as the knife swept down at her head.

_"Yeah, about that."_ a familiar voice hissed in his ear. _"This feels pretty damn personal to me."_

An open palm neatly closed around his descending hand, tore it off at the wrist, prized the weapon free from his fingers and slammed it _through_ his armored back. _Assassin_ gurgled in surprise, blood flecking his lips behind the mask. Below him, his would-be victim remained asleep, blissfully unaware of just how close she'd come to death.

"Hello, friend." A pair of strong hands closed around his head from behind, cradling his head almost lovingly. "Bit late for a stroll, isn't it?" What do you think, Kaguya?"

The Servant blinked. Kaguya? He knew that name. It sounded familiar. Like a whisper on the wind. That too was familiar. Almost hauntingly so.

"Kick his ass?" a girl's soft chirrup answered. "Lets remove his mask first. I want to see his face when he dies."

Realization dawned like a thunderclap.

_Oh, bugger._

The enemy Servant had all of an instant to comprehend his peril -to throw himself forward!- before they could break his neck. An invisible hand slammed into his spine, and he slammed facefirst into a nearby wall before a booted foot drove him clear through the masonry. He rode the momentum down, narrowly evading a chunk of falling rock as he tumbled to the floor and burst into a dead sprint. A hue and cry went up behind him, but he didn't care. With his cover blown, he thought only of escape.

Abort, abort, abort! He didn't know _they _would be here!

Had his Master known this? Had they expected it? Had he been sent here to die, a sacrificial lamb on the altar of progress? Sure as hell felt like it right about now. A piercing alarm blared somewhere behind him and the corridor boiled with movement. He kept running.

"Why are you running?!" someone cackled at his back. "C'mon now, don't be shy! We've got _so_ much to talk about!"

The Servant of Red burst around the corner and flung himself at the first window he found.

"So long, sucker!"

Someone caught him by his ankle before he could smash through the glass to safety. For a fleeting instant his fingers brushed the stained glass. So close! Then they reeled him back in and swung him into the floor. Worn whiskered cheeks became intimate with the floor in a way no self-respecting Servant desired, burning his world white. A clawed hand caught him while he was stunned; taut digits ripped through his leather cowl to shatter the mask and bite into the flesh beneath. A thumb slammed into his right eye, seeking it out and trying to gouge it in.

"Get off!" he kicked out with his feet

He rounded on them, saw their face in the moonlight.

Blue eyes bulged. "Are you kidding me?!"

"What the hell?!" came echoing answer.

He was looking at himself. And for once...it wasn't a Beast. Indeed, his pursuer looked just like him...if one ignored the strange shade of his hair and the preening child perched on his shoulder. Hrmph. Younger, too. Much younger. He was in his prime and looked just as surprised to see him. Both men balked at one another for a long moment. Neither moved. Neither breathed.

"Well," Little Kaguya hummed. "This is just precious. Is that what you'll look like as an old man, Naruto?"

"Quiet, you little runt." The killer finally found his voice. "What class are you?"

"Foreigner." the reply proved swift, if somewhat wary now. "Which faction are _you_ with?"

He almost considered lying but thought better of it, for it gained him nothing. "Red. Don't suppose you'd let me go?"

He sketched a quick step to the side, and his younger self followed him, matching him step for step. The marksman swore. Blast it. Of course he did. Kids these days. Always thinking they were invincible. Seemed this one had gone and tamed himself a goddess, too. Or at least a piece of one. He didn't remember Kaguya being that small.

With a put-upon sigh, he drew back and reached for his weapon, blue eyes gleaming red. "Well, THAT is going to be a problem...

"No, it isn't." A slow, vicious grin spread across the Foreigner's face. "You're a slippery bastard, that's for sure, but there's one thing that you lack. Be sure and tell your Master once you figure it out...assuming you survive the next three seconds.

"Wait, survive what now...?"

He had half an instant to realize his peril before the air boiled. He had even less time to prepare for the attack. Golden hands rose, mirrored by pale palms. Light gathered together in their fingers, swelling to meet the onrushing swell of light. Those gentle red eyes were purely white, wide and pulsing with apocalyptic fury. Something gathered there in the air, a blinding brilliance too bright to look at, as if he'd pulled all the stars down into their hands. Then they roared.

"BIJU!-

Let there be light.

_-DAMAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"_

It was too close to dodge, too sudden, too quick to do anything but brace himself. The Assassin tensed and flung up an arm and summoned a tailed beast ball of his own. His counterpart cut through it like a hot knife against butter. He grit his teeth, bracing for impact and the blinding flash of white that would lead him to oblivion-hurtle him back to the Throne.

His end ever came.

At the last moment the blast impossibly veered wide to the right, wrenched aside by some unseen force, or just blind bloody luck. Who could say? Assassin felt its heat sear across his face as it barreled through a nearby wall, howled a ways across the horizon and obliterated a mountain in the distance with an almighty roar. Then it kept going. The would-be assassin risked a glance over his shoulder, took one long look at the carnage, and smacked his lips. Gulped nervously.

Blue eyes flicked back to his lookalike.

Then raised both hands and placed them behind his head.

"Yeah, nope." He declared emphatically. "I'm wot dealing with a tailed beast bomb. I surrender!"

**A/N: Would you look at that? Old Man!Naruto. Haven't done that one yet.**

**Aye, and it was a Master of the Black Faction that he killed in this chapter. But who...?**

**Didn't see that coming now, did you? We clearly haven't see the last of this guy; though I was going for more of a Black Noir vibe this time around, with a bit more sass. ****For now, we'll be referring to this "other" Naruto as Red!Naruto, or just plain 'ol Red to avoid confusion. He's not who you think he his.**

**As ever, I'll list the Servants of Black below:**

**Saber of Black = Muramasa. His Master is Gordes.**

**Foreigner of Black = Naruto & Kaugya. Their Master is Fiore.**

**Caster of Black = Leonardo Da Vinci. Her Master is Roche.**

**Lancer of Black = Ereshkigal. Her master is Darnic.**

**Berserker of Black = Paul Bunyan. Her Master is Caules.**

**Assassin of Black = Kama. Her Master is...?**

**Rider of Black = Medb. Her Master is Celenike.**

**I ain't saying jack about the Red Faction yet, so keep those reviews/votes 'a coming! ****OPEN SPOTS ARE OPEN VOTES! REVIEW AWAY ME HEARTIES! ****Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive. ****So In the Immortal Words of Atlas... ****...Review, Would You Kindly?**

**Sadly, there won't be any previews this time. I've got something special planned...**

**R&R~!**


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